York has been on strike for about a week now. It'll be a full week at 12:01 A.M tonight. Or.. should i say, tmr :P

Anywho, it's very frustrating to NOT know when I'm going to be in school again. The last strike that York had, it lasted for about 11 weeks! :o Now, that's an AWFUL long time to not go to school. That's nearly 3 months! i PRAY that it won't last that long. I really want the strike to end LATEST next week :S I want to actually GO to class. Though this break has been nice, it's making me lazier by the minute. I need school to motivate me again! haha :p

But yes, I've been having these migraines the past few days. My mom says its because i'm stressed about the strike. Haha. It's either THAT, or the fact that it's very stuffy in my apartment, and i haven't been out of the house in the past 3 days or so :P but TODAY, i went out for a walk outside, & i couldn't have felt better! It was really nice to get some fresh air. I never really realized how important it is just to take a deep breath of fresh air! ahaha :P oh well, now i know!

Spiritually speaking, I think that these past few years has been the most "hard" times of my life. I mean, when I was younger, I never questioned what I believed. And sure, i had my doubts and disbelief occassionally, but it would always fade away. yet, now... these past few years, it's like.. it's all coming back to me. I'm not sure why it's THIS year that I've started to question what it really MEANS to believe in Christ, to believe in a Creator. I never reallly thought THIS deeply before. I'm reading this appologetics book, called "Case for Christ" by Lee Strobel.
It's an amazing book, & it's filled with countless pieces of evidence supporting the Bible, and Jesus as the Christ. I'm still in the beginning of the book, but yeah. I think it's a great way to really BUILD up my faith, which is what I'm trying to work on. Last year, or this year, but in gr. 12, I had a friend who's atheist. He asked me this very valid question, but I didn't know how to answer to it. He asked me, "How do you know that God is real?" I have to admit, I couldn't really explain how i knew that God is real, because all this time, I've been basing this belief on FAITH by hearing about God from my parents.
I realize that my faith has never been that strong. I'm realizing that I believed in God because I was raised in a Christian family. I was born to think this way, to act this way, to believe this way, and that is why I became Christian. So, when my friend asked me that question, i didn't know how to answer it. He was right. How DO I know that God is real? And although that question is more-or-less a matter of FAITH, it really bugged me that I couldn't get it THROUGH to him that there is a God out there. And it bugs me, still, sometimes, that I can't PROVE it; I couldn't think of any solid evidence. Like, i've FELT it, but it's hard to really convince someone if it's only based on what you felt. And I admit, sometimes, I question whether or not i was hallucinating.. i started asking questions like, "did I ACTUALLY hear from God? What if it was from the Devil? How do I know this was GOD speaking to me? and so forth. it just went ON and ON. Hopefully, however, reading apologetic books && experiencing God more will help build my faith up. I feel horrible though, for needing solid proof to believe. God says "Blessed are those who do not see, and yet, still believe." But yeah, deep down inside, I KNOW Christianity is real. People have been living testimonies to this, & I just have to find the right one that will build up my faith and convince me. I'm SO sorry, God, for doubting. :S ughhh.

Anyway, I apologize for this incoherency, and this lack of organization in my writing, but I'm trying to make sense of all this.

One good thing's for sure. By questioning these things, I'll be able to use my findings to help OTHER people in their disbeliefs. :) Praise God! d: