These past few days have been times of agony, pain, and... distance. As most of you know, I got my wisdom teeth removed on Friday morning. My cheeks started to swell, it hurt a lot, I felt very weak, and I was NOT in the mood to do much other than lie around and do nothing.
Doing "nothing" basically consisted of watching TV, and going on the internet. Unfortunately, that "nothing" did NOT consist of more bible reading and spending more time with God. I was willing to go on the internet even though I shouldn't have, but not willing to spend some time with my love, Jesus Christ. That revelation hit me hard.

So many times, I put other things first instead of God, the ONLY one who deserves it! When I ask myself WHY I do this day after day, month after month, and year after year, I can't help but think that perhaps I don't value Him enough. And that's TERRIBLE. I know that He's done so muchhh, and I'm grateful for it, but now that I think about it, maybe I need to re-evaluate how AMAZING God's works/deeds are..... & compare that to the very short-term thrill I get from watching pointless TV shows, playing bubblespinner, or reading fanfiction or facebook.

Whenever I read the bible, I start to feel fulfilled. Whenever I read fanfiction, TV, or play games, I feel like I've wasted my time! DUHH, the Bible is so much better, but then why is it SO freaking hard for me to DESIRE to read the Bible instead of fanfiction/TV/games ??

I suppose its the FlESHLY desires that come to me... but then again, like... obviously the end of the world is coming soon, which means we human beings are running out of time. If we want God to say "With you, I am well pleased." and "My good and faithful servant! Come in and dine with me", we have to do OUR part. The problem is focusing on doing our part without getting sidetracked.

UGHH. I know that there is SO much more that God is offering me, than what I'm living right now. I heard the prophecy, I heard God's words to me. It seems absolutely amazing <3. Every little thing that I desired was IN that prophecy. It never ceases to amaze me how God pays attention to the LITTLEST desires in our heart. It comes to show me that God really DOES care & listen.
Speaking of which, I was refreshed during my morning devotions. (:
I'm still reading Exodus, and basically I came to read about the laws that God gave Moses. These include the 10 Commandments, as well as the laws regarding Hebrew Servants, personal injuries, protection of propoerty, and social responsibility (Exodus 20-23).

What I came to realize, and came to be reminded, was that although God is loving, He is also JUST. BUt His just ways are matched with His compassion. The fact that He protects the poor, the widows, the orphans, and helpless slaves, suggests this compassion. I see themes of His justness everywhere.

E.g.
"If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything." Exodus 21:2

E.g.
"If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slaves gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property." Exodus 21:20-21
E.g. "Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt." Exodus 22:21

All these simply indicate God's justice system and how it works. The first example indicates that although slaves are bound to their masters, there IS a chance for redemption, just like there's a chance for redemption with US, who were slaves to sin before Christ came along to redeem us. The second example also implies fairness- kind of like an eye for an eye. The law states that the slave IS a property, and so under certain conditions, there is no punishement for beating up a slave with a rod. This seems JUST.

Finally, the last law reminds me of the commandment to treat others as you would treat yourself. :)

How amazing is the LORD! :D I'm so happy that although I mess up ALL the time, because I accepted Jesus to be my saviour, I no longer have to worry about my mistakes because God has already forgiven me! I just need to repent from my ways, and receive my forgiveness from the heavenly Father.

I thank youuu, God for your goodness and mercy. <3